Furthermore, consider your fear of life. What are you afraid of? More suffering on the horizon? How do you know that death will be better? You do not. It would be foolish to commit actions without knowing their consequence. Suicide is a coward’s frantic leap, one that they know better to make. Yes, it would absolutely tear your mother apart. What are you thinking?

Wake up. Lay down that pride, endure the humiliation of facing life without that fake face of pride. It’s a heavy shield that takes a toll on you. Start being honest to people, see a good doctor and psychologist and be upfront about what you’re feeling with them. Tell your mom how you feel, she will offer great support. Stop fearing life. If you can do these things, I mean really do them, then you will be looking back on your life in a year or two thinking “what the hell got into me”?

I’ve seen through the eyes you’re looking through right now, and I feel way more sober now. Depression is simply the result of anger you haven’t dealt with, and those roots of anger are doubt, fear, frustration and guilt. Work on all of this stuff and you will be happy and the world will become your oyster.